Political parody or truth?

God gathered all the kings and presidents of countries with claims. Everyone should share their pain and make one request of him. 

 God, I am the greatest president of America, at least according to the Western media. I can't afford to let Americans sleep peacefully. Imagine if the Indians decided to expel us from their lands. After all, the greediest people on the planet came here. That's why every American sleeps with a gun. I can't not be friends with Putin. With our ally Russia, we divided Europe at the time. Instead of us using them, they want to use us. I can't leave the Arabs alone. They can take the power of the petrodollar. This is our strongest factory. We just print paper labeled "dollar," and the whole world wants to own it. They give us their goods for that paper. Then we trick them into buying a bond. And so we're rich again. Everyone expects to become rich someday. And they don't focus on modernizing their country. I may criticize China, but without their supply of goods, we would lack even basic items such as flip-flops. That's why I only advertise weapons and nothing else. That's all these people are afraid of. God, make me the richest man on earth. And let some crazy president of another country not throw us a bomb that we sold him. Long live America. 

I am the master of the largest country. I do whatever I want. After all, most of the resources are in our country. All wars are for land and resources. I have to protect them at all costs. However, they label us as evil because other politicians face their own internal issues and disassociate themselves from me. In the end, everyone will pray to me again. They started making alliances against me. They think I want to obtain my old borders back. Back in the day, Churchill pushed this idea of dividing Europe on us. I would rather not carry many watermelons under my arm. I want them to serve me from afar, not to nag at me. I don't want to go bankrupt because of them. As long as there is plenty of vodka for my people, I don't want anything else.

  I am the strongest Jew on earth. I am looking for answers. The Egyptians persecuted us for what? The Romans persecuted us for what? The Inquisition persecuted us for what? Hitler persecuted us for what? Hopefully, it's not because of a few smart people like me. I have proven how fearless I am. Will what I have done stop them from persecuting us, or will it get worse? Will ordinary Jews suffer for me? Will they make me the messiah? Lord, make me the messiah.

God, forgive us. I am an Arab king. We are not guilty. We hide behind religion and use it as we please. Yes, we deny power and rights to women. Christians had their Martin Luther. But we do not have one. Ataturk succeeded but only in Asia Minor. It is beneficial that it did not spread elsewhere. The oil barons put us in these positions, and we do our job. The important thing is that we live in prosperity. Why worry about ordinary people? It is better for them to envy us than for us to envy some other Arab. Do not disturb our peace, Lord.

I lived to become a king. After all, I am the king of the British Commonwealth. Being the head of so many countries is not simple. I speak English; my family has spoken English for two hundred years. We have taught half the world to speak English. If I could, I would make our own royal religion. That way, it will be easier for people to communicate and pray. At least they will understand each other, and they will not be divided into different gods. The gods themselves are not different; rather, they sound different in various languages. Everyone who is in power adjusts it according to his own rules. We have the most prepared politicians, and they play with others as they want. They always do that; other politicians are to blame for our mistakes. Hopefully soon, I will not have to order my generals to draw new borders for the countries. God, let me live out my old age in peace.

God, I am a materialist. But I don't know what to do. Are those from the West so hungry? They come wanting gunpowder—we give it to them. They come wanting paper and thousands of other things. We even showed them how to use paper money. We have been discovering whatever we can think of for 5000 years. We somehow pass it on to other earthlings. They have no satiety. And they accuse us of stealing their technology. Nothing is stolen; our people there are inventing it themselves. They want a better climate, so we provide them with wind generators and solar panels. They want autonomous cars, so we manufacture them. Again dissatisfied. They accuse us of wanting to become hegemons. We have been hegemons for 5000 years, but we say nothing; we listen and watch. We have constructed a stone wall to ensure our safety. We can't stop them. We should build a laser wall. I will be angry, and I will not let anything out of China for a year. Let them learn to work somewhat. They have become very lazy. We are not interested in their excessive demands. If they want to provide us with the raw materials, we can and will do so. Now, we'll have to deliver millions of robots to them. To work for them. Soon interstellar ships will want us to build them to go back from where they came. Lord, let them not bother us. Because teasing the dragon by the tail is an unwise thing to do.

Lord, I am the president of the Indian people. The smartest, but the most corrupt. How can I unite them, as everyone believes in different gods? We can't become rich, but we teach many to be doctors, which the world needs. We are also the most creative, and we manage the best companies, but we do not help each other. At least violence doesn't force our religions upon us. But in reality we are the richest because we have the most children. Lord, somehow limit corruption in the country so that the way of life of the lowest caste can improve.

I am the president of Switzerland. Everyone envies us because we are very liberal. Everyone says we are the richest. Everyone says we are the best place to live. In most cases, this is true. But there is one thing that others do not know. We live well, but not peacefully. People from all over the world entrust us with their money. We are afraid that one day a greedy president will attack us and steal the gold that everyone has entrusted to us for safekeeping. May God protect us from such greedy presidents or kings.

I am the emperor of Japan. Everyone considers us the smartest and most creative. This statement refers to the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945. We really achieved a lot in a short time. We even became the richest. I think this is due to the mutation from the bombs. Thus far, everything has been satisfactory. But after the 80s, we started to fall into debt. And now we are the most indebted country. I think the bombs are to blame. There is another problem. Our population has started to live over a hundred years. I think it is due to the bombs. God help us. Others should not believe that it is peaceful here, that there are no earthquakes, and that we live a tranquil life. Longevity depends on this perception, which is why people are beginning to move here. Our island barely provides enough resources for our needs.

God, I am your favorite Korean. I have all sorts of titles. I know you treat me like the greatest man on earth. Europeans call themselves developed countries, but they are full of problems and obligations. Arabs brag that women don't recognize them as people. I don't recognize anyone but myself. Africa is rich in resources, yet widespread violence among its people has resulted in persistent poverty. Latin Americans and Africans differ in that Africans kill each other, but crime is rampant in both regions. Debt burdens the so-called rich and democratic Americans, who often sleep with guns under their pillows. The Russians and the Chinese consider themselves allies; however, they offer me no assistance whatsoever. But if some stupid president or king angers me, I will not forgive anyone. I will wipe them off the face of the earth. My request is. Currently, the daily ration of one of my slaves is 700 grams of corn or rice. If I make it 800 grams, won't they get rich and challenge my divine personhood?

God, I am the president of Turkey. I wanted to be part of Europe; they don't want us. I wanted to strengthen the Arab League, but they won't give us leadership because we are perceived as less religious and we have given women rights. I stopped terrorist attacks in our country; they hate me. I am trying to stop corruption; they accuse me of obstructing the opposition. Despite my efforts to act as a mediator between the West and the East, I face negative perceptions. I can't please anyone. God, how can I become good in the eyes of these people?

I am officially the strongest man in Europe. We are the most intelligent, and we are trying to unite. But nationalism is resurgent. After two thousand years of struggle, we had the opportunity to do something wonderful. Our population is decreasing. We need people to look after our elderly parents. However, we only welcome foreigners if they help us become champions and bring us medals; otherwise, we do not want them. We set standards for social life and morality, but we don't get along. However, if we part ways, it will not be long before we resume our conflicts and turn against one another once more. Soon, we will robotize jobs and create a basic income per person. We may have to nationalize factories so that the profits can go to these expenses. So are we going to become capitalist communism or social capitalism? Could you please provide some new terminology for this system to help us avoid any misunderstandings?

I am officially the most powerful person on earth. I head the United Nations. But most of the arrogant politicians prevent me from doing my job. The politicians of all countries complicate, rather than solve, people's problems. This is done to make the people believe that they require their assistance. They only transfer the problems from one party to another. This approach blurs the public's perspective, incites conflict among them, and allows politicians to profit at their expense. But in the past 20 years, life has changed a lot, and people see on social networks what is happening. One day, all the people will simply lynch the politicians. Half of the world still does not have clean water. Over a billion people still go to bed hungry. Politicians ignore these issues by funding projects that not only fail to benefit the people but also exploit them. They discuss new technologies that do not help people's needs but increase the cost of energy. These technologies need a lot of energy, which raises their price, and thus everything else becomes more expensive. Everyone spends money on initiatives that neither improve water quality nor increase food production. What is the effect of having many weapons and no food?

There are many narcissistic politicians who can set humanity back five thousand years or possibly worse. They only measure their narcissism by who is a military force or rich in gold, and so on. Help us, God, the voter, not to vote only for these simple heads who only promise meaningless things. 

Do politicians really work for the needs of society? Or do they use politics for their own benefit and to satisfy their egos? Why hasn't anything changed for so long?