It's one thing to want, another to be able, and a third to make it happen.

We all have dreams. Some are big, audacious goals that would change the world, while others are smaller, more personal desires. Maybe you want to write a novel, start a business, learn a new language, or finally get in shape. The initial spark of desire is often the easiest part. We can conjure up images of success and bask in the glow of possibility. We want it, and that's a wonderful first step! But wanting something is only the very beginning. It's like planting a seed—you've got the potential for growth, but a whole lot more work needs to be done. At this stage, we begin to distinguish between the state of wanting and the state of being able. Being able involves more than just possessing innate talent or having access to resources. It's about possessing the specific skills, knowledge, and tools necessary to even begin pursuing your goal. Think of that aspiring novelist. They might dream of writing a bestseller, but do they actually know the basics of plot structure, character development, and engaging dialogue? Do they have time to dedicate to writing and editing? Similarly, someone who dreams of starting a business might have a brilliant idea, but do they understand the intricacies of marketing, finance, and legal compliance? Do they have access to the necessary capital? The realization that we're not quite "able" to achieve our desires just yet can be disheartening. It can feel like a giant obstacle, leading to procrastination, discouragement, and ultimately, giving up. But this is precisely where the magic of learning and growth comes in. Recognizing your limitations is not a sign of weakness; it's an opportunity to identify the skills you need to cultivate and the resources you need to acquire. Bridging the gap is the focus of this stage. Take online courses, read books, seek mentorship, practice, and experiment. Break down your big goal into smaller, more manageable steps. Focus on acquiring the necessary skills and building a solid foundation. Achieving your goals is often a journey of continuous learning and self-improvement. So, you've put in the work. You've dedicated yourself to learning and developing the skills needed to pursue your dream. You're now "able." Congratulations! But even with all the talent in the world, nothing happens without action. Putting it into action is the crucial step. This area is the realm of discipline, perseverance, and consistent effort. It's about overcoming the internal resistance that whispers doubts and temptations. It's about pushing through the inevitable challenges and setbacks that will arise. Please consider that novelist once more. They now understand how to craft a compelling story and have set aside dedicated time slots for writing, but are they consistently sitting down to write? Are they willing to face rejection from publishers and keep revising their manuscript? "Making it happen" is about committing to the process, even when motivation wanes. It's about creating a routine, setting realistic deadlines, and holding yourself accountable. It's about celebrating small victories along the way and learning from your mistakes. Ultimately, these three elements—wanting, being able, and making it happen—are interconnected and interdependent. You can't truly succeed without all three. Wanting provides the initial fuel, being able provides the necessary tools, and making it happen provides the sustained momentum to reach your destination. So, the next time you find yourself dreaming of something you want, take a moment to reflect on where you stand in this process. Are you merely appreciating the concept, or are you actively taking steps to become "capable"? And most importantly, are you putting in the consistent effort to "make it happen"? Keep in mind, the journey from desire to achievement is a journey, not a sprint. It requires patience, resilience, and an unwavering belief in your ability to learn, grow, and eventually turn your dreams into reality. Go out there and make it happen! I hope what you want will benefit you and those around you.

Why Desire Isn't Always Need

 We've all been there. Imagine yourself in front of a brand-new device, salivating over a rich dessert, or browsing through images of far-off places on vacation. That feeling? That intense pull? That's desire, folks. And it's powerful. However, it's often mistaken, even weaponized, as a need. Understanding the difference between the two is crucial for a happier, healthier, and, frankly, less cluttered life. The famous quote, "Desire is often confused with need," profoundly impacts our consumerist culture and prompts us to reflect. It's a simple sentence, but it unpacks a complex web of psychology, marketing, and societal pressure.  Needs are the fundamental requirements for survival and well-being. Think of Maslow's hierarchy: food, water, shelter, safety, and belonging. These are the bedrock of our existence. They keep us alive, healthy, and functioning within a community. Desires, on the other hand, are wants, wishes, and yearnings that go beyond basic necessities. External factors such as advertising, social trends, and personal experiences often influence them. Could it be the limited-edition sneaker you've always wanted? Could it be a luxury car featuring heated seats? How about an Instagram-worthy  brunch? Those are desires, my friend. So, where does the confusion come from? Master marketers are experts at turning desires into perceived needs. They tap into our insecurities, our aspirations, and our fear of missing out (FOMO). Through clever campaigns, they convince us that we need their product to be happy, successful, or even just "normal." Think of the countless ads that tell us we need the latest technology to stay connected or the newest skincare to achieve flawless beauty. We often confuse desires with needs because we attach emotional significance to them. That designer handbag might represent success and status, or that weekend getaway might promise relaxation and escape. We tell ourselves we need these things to feel positive, even though they don't address any fundamental need.  Keeping up with the Joneses is a real phenomenon. We see our friends, neighbors, and influencers flaunting their latest acquisitions, and we feel compelled to do the same. Suddenly, a desire becomes a perceived need to maintain our social standing or avoid feeling left out. Occasionally, we simply haven't taken the time to reflect on our true needs and values. We're so caught up in the pursuit of external validation that we lose sight of what truly matters to us. We might be chasing desires that don't align with our core values, leading to a sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction. Okay, so we know the problem. But how do we fix it? How do we untangle the web of desires and needs? Here are a few tips:

Take a moment before making a purchase to ask yourself, "Do I really need this, or do I just want it?" Be honest with yourself. What truly matters to you? What brings you lasting joy and fulfillment? Align your spending and your desires with your values. Be aware of the tactics that marketers use to influence your buying decisions. Please consider evaluating their claims and conducting your research. Focus on what you already have and appreciate the simple things in life. Gratitude can help you shift your perspective and reduce your desire for more. Resist the urge to buy something impulsively. Give yourself time to think about it. You might find that the desire fades over time. Personally, I don’t have a smartphone yet. When I make a purchase for myself, I want it to feel good and be beneficial. I don’t follow the latest trends. I have a principle that I stick to—that I want to feel good, not that people think I’m in a good mood. I haven’t yet secured volunteers to cover my lunch or dinner expenses. We need to be mindful of our motivations and prioritize our true needs over fleeting desires. By cultivating self-awareness, resisting marketing manipulation, and focusing on what really matters, we can break free from the cycle of desire and create a more fulfilling and meaningful life. So, the next time you feel that strong pull of desire, take a deep breath, stop, and ask yourself, “Is this a want or a need? And more importantly, will it really make me happy?” The answer may surprise you.